Time back less than originally

Turned around, you will see the happiness in your smile?
I can not see ...
--------- I
­
Inscription world to put on a lot of stories back and forth, determined to show unintentionally left a little large and small memories
­
yesterday afternoon that looked up from the table, I heard the rain rinse out the window rinse,
raining again, this time under the rain really good,
only see any connection with the rain the sun one day bye.
I like this kind of weather, as I hate myself for feeling self-pity from the sorrow,
actually been hurt a self-made man,
blame others.

my desire was so strong sun resistant.
perhaps because before living in the dark mood of mind.
led to moldy moss grows fat on a
. and then used. then self abandon it .....< br> So I'm always floating in the time period without sunlight.
wandering aimlessly in the street.
like a wandering soul lost in the same day at midnight.

­ by me since I do own and his own thoughts and actions are always two in the opposite direction to the tear like mad,
until covered with wounds.
I have been thinking why I control the action from the brain, acts recklessly,
language with action from the same nerve is always a Noir, is a like a shadow, without distinction,
but always out of control in the brain after each attack.
So, I was mad and crazy, the two disorders together and,
one day, I died.

­ busy, emotional upset, there is little argument, a little tired.
tax is no longer a sharp woman, learn to forbear, low profile doing things
I know, she's praised or reprimanded or impairment can not improve their self-
can determine, is the ability of human exposure to life and therefore of self-reflection
told himself, time to do the woman behind the calm
meditation, anger ban.

still occasionally sad, and occasionally low,
a little emotion, the desired calm would be difficult to sustain.
those little sad to leave my heart, is not I sin?
I remain silent, but arrived to a sad but lonely.
hidden pain that I can not tell,
mood a little bit repeated, always a nightmare for their amplification.
even singing out loud, even impudent smile,
I was preoccupied, distracted.
we always stuck in my heart was, and to watch it twist knot Open, and then tighten the knot.
everywhere rendering, in the heart left round after round of the mark.
I looked at their diffusion, the unexpected, not comfort.
only silent cry.

last night increasing the rain outside the window, I imagine all that excited are the scene after the rain washed across.
recall was crazy when carrying shoes in the rain in the run, happy laugh.
others eyes Maybe I was a different type of crazy, but I do not care.
two years later. soon?
may be grown up, so many things began to care about it.
I found a lot of things are all beyond our control.

we are realistic we can not do things by his own personality.
that,
only self-defeating.
& shy ;
inner sense of growing apathy, many people in the company and maintain a certain distance,
nothing to do with each other without interference, that is, without a strong close, and no rejection,
but each holding the event, fulfill their duties.
I know we are just passing through.
that time of joy, are just bluffing.
get along with the adult world, most of them unsuccessful,
if not congenial, it dreary things.

So,
I found that the time was horrible.
I'm not half the man that I am exposed barbed edge.
I become more and more cowardly,
more Yong San.

in the end is the time for me to poisoning?
I cut the end of life, or hopeless?